This is the link to HER blog list, I believe there is or will soon be a mass list there of others who have taken up the list making.

Want to join me? Post a list on your blog, and then leave me a message or leave one at Psalm 128.
(Hmm, Still can’t make the linky show up in the text so here it is http://psalm128.wordpress.com/category/my-life/marriage/list-why-you-love-your-husband/ )

Here is the first part of mine:

1. He is goofy.
2. He is super intelligent.
3. He loves me even when I fail him.
4. He relies on the Lord especially when things are hard.
5. He doesn’t tell me when he is scared, because he doesn’t want to frighten me. (and there is nothing more frightening than whatever can frighten your husband.)
6. He is bold.
7. He is strong.
8. He doesn’t cry.
9. He is right there beside me when I labor with delivering our kids.
10. He loves our kids.
11. He does a great job of training them up in the admonition of the Lord.
12. He is extremely consistent.
13. He helps me to be consistent.
14. He really loves my cooking.
15. He loves my cooking so much he doesn’t usually want to eat out.
16. He buys me flowers on Valentines Day.
17. He tells me he loves me without prompting.
18. He cuddles me when I am weak.
19. He listens to me when I am hormonal.
20. He encourages me not to out of control when I feel emotional.
21. He picks up the slack when I am sick with pregnancy.
22. He feels really bad for me when I am sick with pregnancy, because he wants to help but can’t.
23. He keeps on giving me babies, even though I get sick and mean during pregnancy.
24. He loves the babies we have, and plays with them.
25. He took a job that allows him to work from home, so he can be with us more.
26. He demands respect, from me and his kids, and he taught me what that means.
27. He leads us fearlessly, and takes the burden on his shoulders.
28. He works with joy, so that I can stay home with our kids.
29. He is VERY good with our money.
30. He never over spends.
31. He has taught me how to be a good steward of God’s money.
32. He supports me as a mother.
33. He never contradicts me in front of the kids.
34. He gives our children reason to respect me.
35. He supports me as the teacher of our kids.
36. The way he swings our daughter up in the air.
37. The way he makes time to play games with our son.
38. How he wants to be with us.
39. The way he gets grumpy when he is really hungry, or had too much sugar.
40. The way he is able to change his rotten attitude on a moments notice.
41. Other people like him.
42. People at work really respect him, and that makes me think even more highly of him.
43. He prays for me.
44. He listens to the Lord in prayer, and obeys what he hears.
45. He is not foolish with time, money, or work.
46. He loves soccer and playing outside.
47. He does not condemn me for being a bit overweight.
48. He is willing to work on making our marriage wonderful.
49. He helps me overcome my weaknesses.
50. He makes me a better person.

Mrs.Meg Logan

Ten Reasons for American Divorce

After the first two they are in no particular order (because it is hard to say which ones are more frequent).

1

Taking God out of the Family

When God is taken out of the equation of marriage, the end result is a house built on sand. Some might stand, if the storms aren’t too bad. Most, however, will fall to simple waves. Marriages like this might work if other things are met, especially commitment, and proper authority, but throw any of the other causes for failed marriages into the mix and you are unlikely to withstand even the smallest storm. “Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh [but] in vain.” Psl 271:1 .


2

Lack of Commitment

It is not uncommon these days to see people conisidering relationships temporary. People date one person after the other, supposedly seeking “true love” or “the right fit”. People think nothing of enjoying sexual relations with those they date so flippantly. This temporary relationship is not only damaging to those who engage in them (emotional upheavals!) but to the marriages of those who have engaged in it (and those who didn’t, but who are watching it happen all around and thinking it normal). When marriage is seen as something that can be entered into and escaped from on a whim, it happens more and more. This is directly contradictory to the Word’s expectation of marriage. “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Mat 19:6 .



3

Me-ism

By this I mean the chronic selfishness of today’s society. When people engage in marriage thinking it is all about them, and thinking that they should never have to change, but that the other person should change (first) a marriage is bound to fail. So often I hear people say things like “that is part of my personality, it isn’t going to change” or “if I change that I won’t be the same person” or things like “I won’t change this {whatever} because it’s just who I am” HOGWASH. If it is truly part of your personality at the basest sense, it isn’t going to change. People change alot in their lives, but they are still the same people. I am a completely new creature, just ask my parents! but I am still ME. The problem with me-ism, is that the world doesn’t revolve around ME (YOU) it revolves around God. He told us “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Jhn 15:13 .


4

Material Focus and Financial Irresponsibilit

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Is it any wonder that people are so material minded in this society? TV and Radio and mass production and general wealth have made attaining nearly anything one’s heart desires entirely possible. But to hoard our wealth in toys “He who dies with the most toys wins”, or houses “the bigger the better”, or fancy cars “if it ain’t fast it ain’t for me”, is wrong. It directly contradicts scripture, as I will show in a moment. The way that this corrodes marriage is by pitting each others wants against the other. It plays big time into the Me-Ism mentioned above. A competition ensues, no one wins, everyone loses, and usually they lose in a heap of debt. When a family isn’t competing to have the most toys, but agrees to have many in general, and to enter into debt (credit or otherwise), a weight is hung around their necks. The friction of the debt wears on the couple, and unless they are bound in Christ, and Committed (first two reasons for failure), they are doomed to fail. It isn’t the lack of money, it isn’t the abundance of money, it is the bondage of making money your master that kills this marriage. Some verses: Luk 16:13 “No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” Luke 12:15 “And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.” and the parable of the hoarder Luke 12:16-20 .


5

Belief That There is No Difference Between the Sexes

This leads to the mixed up roles of men and women, which causes no one to be truly happy. When a man is made to act and feel feminine he is stripped of his power and his authority, which in turn robs him of his joy. The same is true for women. If a woman is made or encouraged to act like a man, and to give up her gentle soft side, in favor of the aggressive side, she will not find true happiness. When roles are mixed up in a marriage it causes contention. And the Word says it is awful for a man to live with a contentious wife, “[It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” Pro 21:19 . When women are very contentious as they are when they try to be men, men do not desire to live with them. Look around you ladies, men leave women who are career minded far more often then those who are home minded. (An article written about that)Women and men are equal in value but different in position and purpose. For women’s role refer to 2Timothy 2, Titus 2, and Proverbs 31. For male roles well, that is pretty much everywhere. For how we are equal see Gal 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”


6

Denying Sexual Relations

MANIPULATION at it’s worst. I really don’t think much needs to be said here. This is not something that is a desire, but is a need, and in the Christian marriage it is a requirement.1Cr 7:4 “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.”


7

Women Usurping Male Authority in the Home

Women search for things like “total control over husband” and they find my site (why I don’t know!) But if they will stay a while they will find that total control over their husband will cause him to leave! A woman’s rightful place is as a help meet to her husband. When women usurp the authority in the home the man does one of three things, he fights her tooth and nail, he leaves her emotionally (or physically) for another woman, or for work, or he becomes weak and despondant. God created men to lead, He gave them authority over their homes/families and over the earth. When women usurp that rightful role, they bring curses upon their marriage. Obedience to God’s ways brings blessing. (Deu 11:27 “A blessing, if ye obey the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you this day:” shortly after followed by the curses for disobedience.)


8

Independence = Good/Right, Dependence = Bad/Wrong

We were not made as independent beings. We are meant to be dependent on God and on each other. In our society being independent is the highest ideal. This effects both men and women in marriage, by causing them to think that they do not need each other. But God’s way is better. Gen 2:18 “And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” and that women are to depend on their husbands. Gen 3:16 “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” [emphasis mine]. Dependance is a good thing. This one goes hand in hand with the fact that there are differences between men and women in purpose. We are to serve each other, laying down our lives for each other, and women are to submit to their husbands. (Eph 5:20-21) As humans and especially as Christians we are to consider others better than ourselves, outside and inside of marriage. Inside of marriage it goes further to establish order. The woman submits to the husband, the husband lays down his life for her as Christ did for the church.

9

Sexual “Liberation”

Again with the sleeping around! By declaring “free love” sex was passed around like it had no value. The emotional intimacy that is shared so flippantly is lost in a marriage. I cannot even begin to tell you how many people tell me that they struggle in their physical intimacy with their husband, and when they do inevitably they were unfaithful prior to marraige. Sometimes that unfaithfulness was with their (at the time) future spouse and no one else, and sometimes it was with others, small or great. It always causes trouble in the marriage. There is also this idea that pornography is not adultery (it is adultery look –> Mat 5:28 “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”) Or the feeling that if one is not satisfied sexually in marriage they can then look else where. But putting your spouse away from you in divorce and marrying another is adultery Mat 19:9 “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”


10

Co-Habitation and Causualness of Relationships

This one plays very well into the Lack of Commitment. Because people treat relationships so temporarily, they find it ok to live together “for a while to see how it goes”. This co-habitation is used as a way to “try out marriage” and “see if it could work”. Problem with that is, marriages rarely work without serious effort, that effort really comes when you can have serious commitment. Without commitment marriage fails. Living together before marriage does not increase the survival rate of a marriage, but instead decreases it.

and here are two extras for consideration:

a. No safeguards against emotional infidelity
This one goes with the causualness of relationships. Men meet women at work everyday, conversations between men and women are no longer considered dangerous, but are a “right” we have. When needs are not met at home, conversations started with co-workers, (or others) can lead to emotional intimacy that exceeds the intimacy at home. If that intimacy is given outside of marriage it doesn’t start to happen spontaneously inside of it. Don’t vent to your buddy, you mother, your daddy, your co-worker about your spouse. Don’t do it with the same gender, and don’t do it with the opposite gender. Emotional Infidelity doesn’t have to happen with the opposite gender, and it doesn’t have to lead to physical intimacy to be infidelity, and a detriment to a marriage.

b. Hollywood Love/ Romance

This is the idea that love is romance. That you can fall into and out of love. That love is temporary. That love is based on emotions. LIES LIES LIES. Love is a choice we make. We can even choose to love our enemies. Love is expressed in actions, when you are committed to behaving lovingly, then your emotions can follow after.

Well, that is a very long list. It took me tons of time to write. My hands are cramping up! So, I’m going to end here kind of abruptly. Comments are always welcome.

Mrs. Meg Logan (happily married btw!)