Tamia’s Song “ME” ( I think that is what it is called)
There is a singer out there, named Tamia, I’ve only heard her once. But this morning I heard her sing a song all about herself. The lyrics go something like this “there’s another person in my life, it’s not a man, it’s a woman. You ask me her name, her name is ME.” Then she goes on to sing “and she loves me more than you’ll ever know.” and she continues to say that she will choose ME over the man who she is either dating or married to. Case in point: Me-ism, ruins marriage. This woman blatantly sings that she loves herself more than she loves her mate, and that she is going to choose herself over her mate… *sigh* Brazenly singing about self love… unbelievable.
Mrs. Meg Logan
(Last Post before Thanksgiving Break)
December 3rd, 2006 at 1:46 pm
Yes, it’s unbelievable that one would sing about self-love. I suppose you’ve never heard “Dancing with Myself” or “She Bop,” then.
I like the implication that a relationship can somehow take precedence over the individuals that it comprises. I hope you just happened to miss out on the later verse:
“And she told me to tell you to never to hurt me again
Cuz if you haven’t heard she’s a bad chick
Eventhough I haven’t been, no
Yet and still you try and test me by raisin’ an angry hand
Put it down, put it down”
So, according to your outrage, this abused woman is wrong for having enough self-esteem and self-preservation to get out of an abusive relationship. Any mate who would “raise an angry hand” isn’t exactly showing a lot of love.
Me-ism does ruin marriage, Meg. It ruined the marriage in the song; the husband’s jealous, angry imperialist controlling abusive self-absorbed “me-ist” attitude and actions drove his wife from him.
What was it that Jesus said? “And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.” Tamia’s ‘better half’ offended her, and so she cut him off, lest they both perish–her from this world by his detestable hand, and him eternally by his own violence toward her.
December 4th, 2006 at 12:56 pm
Tom,
Actually you are correct that I didn’t catch that last part of the song. However you are wrong in your assumption that it would change my opinion of the song.
I guess it is time I wrote a post about marriage and divorce in extenuating circumstances and just how I believe on the issue. For the record, there are more important things than your physical life, and I am of the opinion that divorcing an abusive husband is against the will of God, according to His Word.
Mrs. Meg Logan
December 4th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
Ah, so you are a horrible person. Kudos.
And just what is more important than your physical life in this case? Your husband’s desire to beat you senseless? Let’s say that Tamia followed your advice, she didn’t divorce her husband, because it’s much more important to stay married than stay alive.
And let’s say, for the sake of argument, that they have three wonderful Christian children together. And let’s say that for the sake of argument, little Billy has just been christened. So, with mommy dead, daddy no longer has an outlet for his rage. So, first, he takes it out on little Tammy, the oldest daughter, because she looks so much like her mom. But little Tammy isn’t her mom, and while mommy had years and years of experience enduring daddy’s loving married fists, Tammy’s neck simply can’t take the strain. So Tammy dies, and daddy’s still angry. In fact, he’s even angrier, and when Bobby tries to stop him from smacking around his dead older sister, daddy knocks Bobby into a wall. And little Billy, he just won’t stop crying, won’t stop crying, so daddy tries to shut him up. And he puts his hand over little Billy’s mouth, but little Billy won’t stop. So he puts a blanket over little Billy’s mouth, and after a few seconds, Billy stops crying. And then daddy goes to the bar, where he drinks several bottles of distilled imported sin. Maybe daddy, in his drunken stupor, hires a hooker, and maybe Daddy beats her up a little bit.
And what does mommy’s dedication to her marriage lead to? Daddy’s on a fast track to lethal injection and eternity in Hell after a life of drunkenness, abuse, adultery, and murder. Tammy’s dead, Bobby’s in a coma, and poor Billy hasn’t been baptized yet, where does he go, Meg?
I mean, sure, Tamia and Tammy and maybe Bobby will get to spend eternity in sunshine and happiness and rainbows in God’s presence in Heaven. Great for them. But did they really have to spend so little time on Earth? Even if you think there’s more important things than physical life, doesn’t that physical life deserve some importance? I mean, Tammy and Billy and Bobby never even got the chance to enter into the holy sanctitude of marriage, and all because mommy thought “Daddy’s drinking and anger are more important than my will to live, I better let him exercise that.”
Whose “me-ism” destroys the marriage again, Meg? Isn’t drinking and fornicating and abuse “me-ism”? Isn’t beating your wife against God’s Word? Isn’t killing your children more against God’s Word than divorcing your abusive husband?
Jesus said “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” When Tamia saves her children from the harsh hands of her abusive drunk of a husband, it is as though she is saving Christ from those killing blows, not unlike the 39 strikes of the whip upon his anointed back. But when she refuses to leave, when she subjects her children to that same abuse, is she not condemning Christ also to the same fate? Is her husband not doing it “unto” Christ? I she not subjecting her children to the same tortures Christ faced? Will she be damned as the Pharisees were for the same act? And what of her children? The Jews in Matthew said “His blood be on us, and on our children,” will not the blood of her children be on their own heads, or at least her own? What of the sins of the abusive father? Will they be visited unto the children he slaughters?
And if she is damned, Meg, if Tamia spends eternity in Hell because of her failure to save her children, if Billy the unbaptized burns and Bobby and Tammy must suffer for their father’s sins, if any one of these family members other than the terrible father be condemned to eternal torment in the lake of fire, then can Tamia’s resolve to save her marriage be justified? If Tamia leaves, her husband will surely face hellfire, and she may for breaking the covenant of marriage, but if she stays, her children may be cast into torment with her. What’s more important, Meg? Saving a marriage, or saving the souls of three innocent children?
December 4th, 2006 at 6:21 pm
Wow, you have a vivid imagination. Not to mention an emotional attachment to the scenario. Furthermore you presuppose many things, not only about what I believe she ought to do, but about what constitutes salvation. Really the issue of salvation is the most imporatant issue here. For you misunderstand it to be based upon works. You say “if Tamia spends eternity in Hell because of her failure to save her children…” This is poor doctrine, and not a saving faith. This is faith based on works. Tamis will only be going to Heaven if she relies on Jesus to save her by His GRACE, not because she has done something good. We all deserve Hell. Every last one of us. Not one of us is righteous, no not one. Romans 3:10
. Whether she saves her children from death is irrelevant to her salvation.
Now, let me address four things of importance.
1. God’s Word is clear on divorce. But it is not clear about separation. (I accept that it may be possible for the woman to both spare her children and obey God’s Word regarding marriage.)
2. You make a good point about “unto the least of these”.. however, the FATHER is the one who will bear the responsibility for their little lives, and souls. As the Head of the Family the responsibility of his position is greater.
3. I also believe that it is wrong for a husband to abuse his wife and kids. I think it is against the law furthermore, which we are to be subject to insomuch as it is in accordance with God’s Law. Therefore it would be completely within the woman’s Godly right to report her abusive husband to the authorities. In the case that he is life threateningly violent, it is likely that he will be put in prison, once the wife testifies against him. In the case where it is not so much, well, there is minimal protection, in the US I admit. Nevertheless, God’s Word superceeds her self preservation (just look at all the people who died for the Gospel)
4.Lest you argue her obedience to her husband, I would care to explain that a woman’s obedience to her husband ends where he leads her into sin, (except in the case of divorce, IF and ONLY IF, the one leaving and ending the marriage is not a Christian.) For example, if a husband were to command his wife to murder, she would be obeying the Lord over her husband if she refused, this is acceptable.
I hope that you find my arguments far less emotionally charged than yours are. I also pray that you will come to a saving faith and knowledge of the Lord Jesus.
Mrs. Meg Logan
December 4th, 2006 at 7:05 pm
Sadly, I need not imagine such scenarios, they are all too common in the real world.
I apologize, the thought of men abusing their wives is one that raises my hackles just a little. The fact that you can maintain such emotional distance speaks volumes about your (lack of) experience with the matter.
I see. And if His grace comes in the form of her feelings of self-preservation, what then? Can you say with absolute certainty that her desire to leave the situation, that her friend who gives her the number of a good divorce lawyer, that a nosy social worker, that these are not agents of the Lord?
I see, so she shouldn’t try. The morality implied by your statement here is ridiculous. By your logic, we should not do anything good, since it will not matter for our salvation. What if the abusive husband believes in the saving grace of the Lord? Might he go to Heaven while his faithless wife, who broke her covenant, burns eternally? Is this the face of your loving God, Meg? Because it is not the face of mine.
No, sadly, it isn’t. While Mark and Luke ban divorce outright, Matthew says it is permissible when the wife is unfaithful (”Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery”). 1 Corinthians says that the “unbelieving” partner may choose to leave, and Deuteronomy says “When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife.”
By the way, if it doesn’t matter to her salvation whether or not she saves her children, then why does it matter whether or not she gets divorced? If she is damned either way, then your argument falls apart. Does a mother who gets divorced become less eligible for Christ’s grace than a mother who lets her children be killed? If so, then grace is dependent on works, at least in part. If not, then she should leave, lest her remaining days on Earth be short and tormentuous. If we are saved and damned by grace alone, then you cannot say that it is better to stay in an abusive marriage than to leave, since it has no bearing on salvation.
And as the perpetrator of the violence, and as God made him steward of his wife through his orders to Adam regarding Eve, he should have greater responsibility as well. But, again, Christ’s salvation comes through grace alone, then his actions for good or ill are immaterial. Ultimately, he will bear no responsibility, for as you say, “we all deserve Hell.” He will be judged no worse nor no better than any other member of the human race. Your model of salvation frees all people from responsibility and from judgment. If he is denied grace because of his actions, then grace is based on works, at least somewhat. If he is not denied grace because of his actions, then he will face no responsibility for his violence.
But if she will be neither saved nor damned based on her actions, then why does God’s Word matter? If her salvation can come only through grace, then why should she care about God’s Word? If Christ denies her grace because she has acted against God’s Word, then grace is based on her works. If Christ does not deny her grace because she has acted against God’s Word, then what is her reason for obeying God?
So it is wrong for her to commit murder, because that goes against God’s Word. Yet, it is also wrong for her to act in a way to prevent murder, because in this case, that also goes against God’s Word. The Jews did not nail Christ to the cross, yet they said that his blood would be upon them and their children, meaning that they would be punished for their inaction. Why is this mother spared that punishment?
And I hope that no woman ever comes to you asking for advice about her abusive relationship. I hope you never have to experience the hardship of such a relationship yourself, and I hope you realize how flawed your concept of grace truly is. For, Meg, if Christ Jesus requires my faith in him in order to bestow His holy grace on me, then grace is based on works, and your argument again falls apart.
I hope you come to realize that God is loving and forgiving, and not the petty, cold rulemonger which you have made Him out to be.
December 6th, 2006 at 1:08 pm
I agree, Meg. Me-ism runs rampant in our culture and is ruining everything. People singing all about themselves is terribly self-centered.
I mean really. How egotistical is it that someone would take copious amounts of time to do nothing but tell the world all about themselves?
Sort of like running a self-titled blog.
Glass houses, Meg.
December 13th, 2006 at 11:15 am
I wish allot of women would think of themselves the way Tamia feel about herself. This entire topic is STUPIT……If I had to choose between the two..”I CHOOSE ME”. Meaning, with all the things we go threw as women don’t let no man control your life and make your life about him. If I had to choose between me or some fool…I choose me. I hope with everyone responding that Tamia is self centered are not being abused at home because that’s what this blog sounds like too me. I think about myself before I think about my children and husband because if I don’t have myself together then how could I be a good mother or wife. Get a life people. Grant Hill is Tamia husband and NO he is not beating on her. IT’S A DAMN SONG.
December 18th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
Elaine,
Thank you for that…I couldn’t agree with you more! I was an abused woman and I chose “ME”. Choosing me was the best thing I had ever done in my life….Unless you have been abused, you don’t know what that is like. I almost lost my life…mentally and physically! He was not sent by God..He was the devil who seeked to steal, kill and destroy. I have been so blessed since I left. By the way, God send me in the path of a Godly man whom is now my new husband.
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:38 pm
yes your both right. you guys should grow up though. You need to understand everyone has there own beliefs god or not. I am glad my mother did not let my father beat me to death. AND you should love yourself. Yes divorse is wrong but so is crushing your wifes head with your heal. Please remember before you get mad at on here. Having a fight online is like racing in the special olympics. Nomatter who wins your both still retarted.
October 12th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Love the song.
You must first love yourself.
December 22nd, 2007 at 2:39 pm
you made the 1st mistake by saying that you have only heard it once. its not about choosing herself or me over marriage, ITS ABOUT CHOOSING HERSELF OR ME OVER ABUSE.
…..listen to the second verse “and she told me to tell you, you’re never to hurt me again/ if you haven’t heard she’s a bad chick, even though i have not been/ yet and still you try and test me by raising an angry hand/put it down, put it down…”
December 22nd, 2007 at 2:45 pm
so meg, if you were in an abusive relationship, you wouldn’t leave?
all im saying is that you need to choose your words carefully because by you claiming that she is self-absorbed for wanting to leave an abusive relationship, you’re insulting the many women who die from abuse everyday and those who are affected in general by abuse….men, women, and children.
December 22nd, 2007 at 2:49 pm
sorry that im posting so much but I agree with what ann said…love yourself first
how can u expect to respect, love and cherish someone else when you can’t even respect, love and cherish yourself.
If God is telling you and/or giving signs to leave, then leave because there should be no man or thing above God. You are to love God more than any man, woman or child.
January 11th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Boy this one is a HOT TOPIC.
But I don’t have anything more to say on it… I said all I care to.
Mrs. Meg Logan
March 6th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH U PEOPLE UR TAKING THIS SONG OUT OF CONTEXT SHE IS NOT SELF CENTERED AND NO THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HER MARRIAGE AND NO NBA STAR GRANT HILL (HER LONGTIME HUBBY) iS NOT BEATING HER IT`S JUST CLAIMING LOVE OF SELF WHICH GOD SAID U SHOULD HAVE FOR YOURSELF
March 13th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Yeah Man “claiming self love, which God said you should have for yourself”
Oh really?? Where?
Mrs.Meg Logan
March 17th, 2008 at 12:32 am
You guys both make really good points, but if i had to take sides with anyone i would take sides with Tamia. The only thing she is saying in this song is that in any situation she would choose herself, like some one said earlier how can you expect respect if you don’t love yourself?? I don’t blame anyone for jumping to conclusions because if you really listen to the words of the song your imagination can really run wild and then you start believing that Grant Hill is beating Tamia, when in actuallity nothing is wrong with their relationship at all their in love! I think she wrote this song to reach out to women who are in abusive relationships!
May 13th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
How dumb can you be. Tamia isn’t singing about herself. “Me” was written by Shep Crawford. Tamia and Grant are happily married. They made an appearance on Oprah. It’s so silly how some people read more into a song. A true singer sings songs that can encourage others. God has blessed everyone with a special talent. I love that song. She sings about issues that a woman needs to hear. There are many women who’s in a relationship who is being abused (mentally and/physically) an needs to know that she should love herself enough not to continue being happy. Mrs Logan for you to be a woman an not believe in loving yourself makes me wondering about how you look. I rather listen to Tamia song “Me” than listen to some stupid song about nonsense. I don’t see anything wrong with loving yourself. How can you love someone and not love your self? You’re married!!!!! lol that’s crazy lol God didn’t say that we shouldn’t love ourselves we just can’t be into ourselves there’s a difference. To all the women and men that reading this….go and listen to Tamia’s cd. Don’t take anyone’s opinion on anything because sometimes that can be wrong. Tamia is a wonderful singer who doesn’t sing about immature issues.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:20 am
Theresa,
I realize that Tamia is not necessarily, singing about herself. But the whole premise of the song is faulty thinking.
God says NOWHERE in the Bible that we are to LOVE OURSELVES, that is pop psychology babble.
What the Word DOES say is that there is “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:” Ephesians 5:29,
and it says “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
Singing about loving yourself is self centered, vain, and most certainly NOT Christ like.
But regardless, the whole point of this post was to express the depravity of popular culture… not to say that Tamia personally was in conflict with her husband… she IS however, perpetuating a lie, and that lie is that we do not love ourselves enough. On the contrary, we love ourselves far too much.
Mrs. Meg Logan