DIVORCE
Jesus says that divorce is a no no. For how can you separate one flesh!
“‘From the beginning of creation ‘God made them male and female. ‘for this reason the man shall leave his mother and his father and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together let no one separate.’”
Mark 10:6-9
Jesus says that Moses allowed a certificate of dismissal or divorce, because we people have hard hearts! Is that an excuse!? I say no! Far better to grow and change than to be hard of heart!
Jesus goes on to say that there is only one reason that divorce is “overlooked”, unchastity (adultery). If your spouse is unfaithful to you Jesus says divorce is excepted (not accepted), but if there is no infidelity, you have no excuse! I happen to think that this also means that if you marry a person who claims to have never lain with the opposite sex, and then after marraige they tell you they did, that person was unchaste, and unfaithful, but I am not saying that this should be used as liscence to divorce!
Divorce is never condoned, and only “excepted” or excused in cases of infidelity, and then ONLY BECAUSE of the HARDNESS of YOUR HEART. Yup, it’s on you folks!
Besides! If you are getting a divorce you are placing your trust (or lack of it) in man, not on Jesus! If you truly believed that Jesus was all powerful, you would believe He could heal your marraige! No matter how hard! And not only COULD, but WOULD!
Divorce is eating away at our families in the US, it is eating not only unsaved people’s families, but the families of Christians! How dare we take the easy road! The Lord walked that narrow brutal dusty path to Calgary! Can we not endure for but a season in a rough marraige?
Oh I can hear all the “But…” and “You don’t understand… ” and “you aren’t married to MY…” Oh yes, so you are different!? No, NO you are not! The Lord holds you to just as high of a standard as the rest of us. He holds you to the WORD, and HIS Word says divorce is BAD. It is like redning apart ONE body. (Not to mention what you do to a family body when kids are involved… You are responsible for them too!)
How can we even begin to justify divorce if we are truly loving and seeking the Lord? I see no way!
“‘Any man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and any woman who divorces her husbandand marries another commits adultery against him.’” Mark 10:11, 12
I have a special anger against divorce. A righteous anger against something that breaks the Lord’s heart and stirs Him to anger. You can say I am not being compassionate (I might agree, since that IS NOT MY GIFT, LOL.) But I tend to think I am just being HONEST. If you love the Lord and really trust Him, you can trust Him to heal your marraige.
It doesn’t matter if it is SO bad you cannot stand one more day. You do not have to stand on your own power. Call out to the Lord, reach out to Him who is able to do all things! He will give you peace, and power to stand. Whenever we try to do the right thing out of a love of the Lord and His Word, He is faithful to uphold us, and to give us strength to perservere.
If you have to take it one day at a time, so be it. Pray everyday, all day if you have to, but do not commit another sin by divorcing your spouse. Disobedience is promised retribution, a curse is upon those who choose to disobey. (Deut. 28:15….)
And please don’t try to tell me that “the Lord told me to divorce him! (or her)” We all know that for the LIE it is. The Lord has said in His Word, with aboslute clarity exactly one reason for divorce, adultery, and NO OTHER. He is not going to excuse you for having a hard heart. We will all be held accountable at the Judgement. Do not use the Lord’s mercy and sacrifice as a liscense to commit sin! Do not divorce knowing you will be forgiven, for that is liscentiousness… and a sin in and of itself!
If you have divorced a woman, (or man) and that person married another, and either divorced them, or was widowed, the first spouse MAY NOT remarry her (or him). This is an abomination to the Lord. (Deut. 24 :1-4)
Boy that is a hard one! Yep, I have heard of this happening! And it is condoned and encouraged! Because it is “the reuniting of the one flesh!” NO I tell you, it is abhorrent to the Lord, you have caused another to be defiled! Do not bring shame to the Lord! Obey His commands and He shall set a blessing before you. could you even imagine if He healed your marraige, and gave you a new spouse in the old spouse’s body!? It can happen, if you choose to be obedient, and choose to seek the Lord. (And I don’t mean praying “Lord please change HIM!” I mean “Lord please change ME, and heal my marraige!”)
Grow up in the Lord. Pray, fast if you must, but lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge the Lord! and He will make straight your paths!
Lord, Help me to pray righteously when I am angered by sin. It appalls me and angers me when people sin against you. Forgive me if my heart is in the wrong place, and set me straight Oh Lord. Teach me how to pray! Amen.
Be At Peace in HIS Arms,
Meg
May 23rd, 2005 at 5:05 pm
Hi Meg
You and I are one when it comes to our hatred of divorce… I find this sin particularly heinous.
Couple of things you may want to consider:
You say divorce is "excepted in cases of adultery". I would make a precision here. I believe the Scriptures only allow for divorce for cases of adultery in the "bethrothal" stage of a marriage (or the "engagement").
How have I come to this interpretation?
1. The only example of a believer attempting a divorce in Scripture did it during the betrothal. Yep, Joseph, when he thought Mary had been unfaithful, tried "to put her away privily".
2. Ephesians 5:22-33
make it clear that marriage is a picture (or a type) of the relationship between Christ and His church. So, a divorce between a husband and wife would picture a divorce between the Lord Jesus and His church. We know that such a divorce could never happen, EVEN IN THE CASE OF ADULTERY! Ask yourself, have you ever been unfaithful to the Lord? Did He divorce you over it?
3. Hosea. The Lord directed him to marry a harlot to picture the relationship between God and unfaithful Israel. When the wicked women leaves Hosea to wander in adultery, what does God direct Hosea to do? Divorce her? Nope. He instructs Hosea to buy her back (for she had been sold into slavery during her time of unfaithfulness).
Food for some thought I hope, dear sister,
Rand
May 23rd, 2005 at 7:05 pm
AMEN brother!
I don't know if I agree with your first statement, but regardless… divorce is always a sin, and that is my point too.
Meg
May 24th, 2005 at 9:05 am
Divorce is such a tough subject when broaching it biblically. I think everyone should try to work out their marriage and fix their problems because it can be done, but when there's serious spousal abuse I just can't think that the Lord would want anyone to stay in an abusive situation, no matter what the bible says.
So many women and men stay in abusive and even deadly relationships because their pastors tell them that divorce is a sin and that they are to submit to their spouse, because the bible says so, but would our God who told us to LOVE want us to stay in something so dangerous and damaging?
Obviously, you can see I'm torn on this.
May 24th, 2005 at 9:05 am
Crystal,
Read 1 Peter 2:18
to 3:6 and pay close attention to the "likewise" in chapter 3 verse 1.
Ask yourself, what are the two elements that are being compared, and then you will have the answer to your question.
This is a hard teaching, but a Biblical one nonetheless.
Take care,
Rand
May 24th, 2005 at 10:05 am
Crystal,
Personally I believe that a woman could remove her body from the home, and the physical danger. Seek the Lord in private prayer. But still not divorce the man. When a woman obeys the Lord, she is able to win over her husband without a word. Therefore, though it would be hard (and the things of the Lord usually are!) I would not say she should divorce him. Get help? YES!, speak to the Pastor? YES! Suffer in silence? NO, not necessarily!
But the Lord is pretty black and white on this issue, He does not excuse divorce on the grounds of physical abuse. It is tough, very tough, but the Lord knows what is happening, and He is a protector of those who diligently seek Him. Trust in the Lord not in what you see, or feel.
Meg
May 24th, 2005 at 10:05 am
Rand, that is a wonderful scripture! Glad you pointed that one out! (Course I have read it many times, but never really put it together with divorce! Alright, I knew it was true!) Thank you.
Meg
May 24th, 2005 at 4:05 pm
So (to Meg or to Rand): do you think someone who thought she was a believer when divorcing, but was young and not well-versed in Scripture, is on her way to hell if she has since repented? Is divorce, as so many people paint it, an unforgivable sin?
May 24th, 2005 at 5:05 pm
I think that there is NO unforgiveable sin except ONE, to deny the Lord.
All sin is forgiveable if you trust Him for it! He wipes our whole slate clean!
This was not meant as a chastisement for people who made the wrong choice, for them it is too late, now they must repent! It is more a warning for those who may think divorce a godly option. It is not a godly option, but even godly people sin from time to time. And all sin but one is forgiveable, even this one. Even my sin of murdering a baby!
Peace sister!
Meg
May 24th, 2005 at 6:05 pm
I'm with Meg on this one.
The blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is the only sin that was and will never be forgiven (and that sin cannot be commited in this church age).
A more interesting question though is this: is it permissible for a divorced person, who went through the divorce when he/she was unsaved, to get remarried?
This is a tough issue my church had to deal with not too long ago.
Take care,
May 25th, 2005 at 12:05 am
remarried to the same man/woman?
Meg
May 25th, 2005 at 9:05 am
No…no…remarried to a different spouse (sorry, I see that my question was poorly phrased now).
Let me clarify: What if we have two divorces, two couples who, in the unsaved state, forsook their marriage. The man from one of the divorces and the woman of the other, repent and believe on the Gospel, and are saved. They then meet each other, "fall in love", and wish to be married.
What sayest thou?
(in the particular case I'm thinking of, the Christians who wanted to be married couldn't be reconciled to their former spouses, since they, still in their sin, were remarried)
May 25th, 2005 at 10:05 am
I think they have been forgiven. What sins we committed while unsaved are wiped clean, they are a NEW man and woman. THerefore, I think it is as though they were never married, and can marry again.
But they better not divorce!
LOL,
Thats my thought, but I have no scripture for it, and don't really see how you could tell them no, because that would eventually cause them to stumble and fall again, into fornication.
Meg
June 1st, 2005 at 7:06 pm
Hey…I had a friend tell me about this website and personally I think that the whole chit-chatter on divorce is absolutaly crazy. I believe that yes you did make promises at the wedding, but stuff happens. I found my hubby in OUR bed with another woman….of course I am going to divorce him. There is no way I am going to make things worse. Although biblical reasons say stay with the same woman, the bible also says as one of the 10 commadments not to commit adultry. I feel that if he did not listen to God, why should I…..although I am not a professional, I have thoughts and opoins too.
June 2nd, 2005 at 8:06 pm
Wow, I cant believe you came all this way just to spout about how you are justified.
Did you read the article?
I never said that divorce was OK if they wronged you first! You are simply looking for justification.
Well you will not find it here.
If you are a Christian, and married, you have no business divorcing! PERIOD.
Tough pill to swollow, yes I know.
But here is some encouragement. Take that high road, and the Lord is more than able to bring healing and restoration to an abused and beaten heart and marraige.
He is powerful above all things, able to bring peace and joy to a dead marraige. Able to bring even the worst adulterer to submission to the Word.
Pray, pray hard. I will be in prayer for you too. I hope that you will find that obedience, is better than satisfiying our own hurt hearts.
Peace and blessing,
Meg
June 9th, 2005 at 2:06 pm
Peter's "likewise in 3:1 is not saying that you should submit to a beating. Servants i.e. slaves were a fact of life in the 1st century. Physical beatings were considered to be a fact of life for slaves. Peter merely accepts this and tells them that if they are beaten due to their own disobedeience nothing is gained but if they are beaten unjustly then consider it suffering in Christ. This is the entire point of chapters 3 and 4. Peter tells wives not to leave their husbands simply because they do not believe the Word and obey it, just as Paul says in 1 Cor 7:10-16
Separation can be an option, but divorce and re-marriage is out of the question. Neither Peter, nor Paul would expect anyone to stay with a mate who is beating them physically. I do not believe that there are any grounds for divorce including adultery. Matthew 5:32
says that if you divorce your wife you cause her to commit adultery,but the statement "except on grounds of sexual immorality" says that her immoral behavior would already make her guilty of adultery. Therefore the act of divorce would not make her an adultress. In that circumstance alone her immoral actions would make her one. So adultery is not an exception to the no divorce rule. Of course the statement that "any man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery" speaks for itself.
April 26th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
I don’t think hell or heaven was given to Meg or Rand. I understand their concerns but I don’t like the spirit in which it’s delivered. I was very self righteous and judgemental about divorce a long time ago and had no mercy on anyone. We have to remember to use wisdom considering ourselves. The lady caught in adultry was told to sin no more.. not to be reconciled or remarried. If the only sin that is unforgiveable is blasphemy of the HolyGhost.. why are you are saying that if you’re divorced you will be cursed? Is it forgiveable or not? Are we under the law or what? I agree that God hates divorce but he said he would judge the adulterers and fornicators. It’s best to pray for people and have some mercy. You never know what may come down your pathway. And teachings on divorce are very technical. If you go by what the scriptures appear to be saying then no one can remarry and there are a lot of people on their way to HELL.. Adultry is more than physical. I only hear of restoration for those who have been cheated on. What about restoration for those who have committed adultry and see that it’s hard to forgive themselves. Reading these comments will make you feel hopeless. In all things use wisdom. The church is always willing to look at phsical sins and not those hidden in the heart. The bible was used to justify slavery in America. We can try to use the scriptures to argue anything.. we just have to be careful. Just wanted to comment.
June 24th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Do not be fooled for the Lord will not be mocked, whatever a man soweth, so shall he also reap.
I do see your concerns and am grateful for your comment. Sometimes I am a bit harsh on people. But the Lord’s Word is black and white, it isn’t grey. Mercy and grace come after repentance. I feel horrible for people who are in a dieing marraige, my gut is wrenched with compassion for them. Because there IS hope, Hope in our Lord and Savior who is able to do exceedingly above and beyond all we can think or imagine, our God who can restore the broken hearted and broken marraige to right relationship. Our God blesses and curses us, we are to recieve both from the hand of God. Review Deuteronomy 24 for a complete list of what is a blessing and what is a curse. We can ask forgiveness for the sin of adultery, or for the sin of divorce (or any other thing except blaspheming the Holy SPirit) and expect to receive it. Our Lord is merciful to those He would have mercy upon… and He extends grace to those who repent and turn from their sin….
I’m not using the scriptures to justify anything here at all. and as for restoration of adulterers, well… you are right those who commit the sin must extend forgiveness to themselves too… I am not sinless… I do not claim to be. This post was about divorce not about reconcilliation that is why restoration of the sinner to God is not covered.
Thanks for posting. I hope to see you back again. I will be starting up the blog again soon…
Meg Logan