Meg Logan’s Blog

Ok, so… You all know that God has been talking to me about being real, and being really others centered. Some how I never really noticed the depth of selflessness God is looking for. You know, I somehow glossed over the utter selflessness of Christ on the cross. I saw that He was blameless, and I saw that He had no need to die for his own self. But somehow my mind thought He was gaining something. Somehow we were worth it. But really, we were totally undeserving, wretched sinners the lot of us. And here a perfect man struggled in life just as we all do, without failure, without sin, condemned to die a painful agonizing death. And even worse, to be separated from the God He loved and was loyal to in life, in fact severing His own self, flesh from spirit. His human part from His God part. Can you even imagine?

Well, somehow I glossed over this, this selflessness. Because really God doesn’t need us, heck He couldn’t even accept us without some sort of payment, and gee for a while there He considered destroying the whole lot of us with a flood. But for His mercy we would be nothing.

So I am going along reading and I come to a place where Paul tells how much he longs for the salvation of the Jews. So much so that if it were possible he woudl die as Christ did (except forever) and endure hell for eternity, that so many might come to know God’s salvation. Now, I just cannot imagine even considering it. Even considering telling God, all powerful creator and judge that I, I would be willing to be eternally apart from Him, if He would just save The state of North Carolina. I couldn’t even imagine taking that sort of risk. And really if you didn’t mean it when you said it it woudl be worht nothing anyhow. But you know what is worse? The fact that I wouldn’t do it.

I am so selfish, that at the core, my own choice to serve Christ really is for my own life. It really is a plea to save my own life. But those who lose their life will find it in Christ. How am I losing my life? How am I, a person who is unwilling to lay down the greatest gift for others, losing my own life? Well, I did lose my fleshly life…my carnal man is hanging on that cross. But my eternal life is not something I am willing to lose or consider losing. So at the core, I am still self centered. Saving my own hide, not laying down my eternal life…. This is a strange thought pattern. Obviously, Paul WAS willing to lose his eternal life, and Christ did not require it of him. (Nor can I see how God COULD require it of him… but that is a whole other topic.)

Are you willing that none should perish? Are you willing to lay down your ETERNAL life inthe place of others? Could you make that eternal sacrifice?

I know I couldn’t yet. But I pray that one day Christ will bring me to a place where I care for others salvation so much, that I would give up my own that they would find Him. Yeah, I’m crazy!

Sorry its so short today guys, but I said I would try to post everyday, and well… they can’t all be novels! LOL

Meg