Meg Logan’s Blog

Ok, so… You all know that God has been talking to me about being real, and being really others centered. Some how I never really noticed the depth of selflessness God is looking for. You know, I somehow glossed over the utter selflessness of Christ on the cross. I saw that He was blameless, and I saw that He had no need to die for his own self. But somehow my mind thought He was gaining something. Somehow we were worth it. But really, we were totally undeserving, wretched sinners the lot of us. And here a perfect man struggled in life just as we all do, without failure, without sin, condemned to die a painful agonizing death. And even worse, to be separated from the God He loved and was loyal to in life, in fact severing His own self, flesh from spirit. His human part from His God part. Can you even imagine?

Well, somehow I glossed over this, this selflessness. Because really God doesn’t need us, heck He couldn’t even accept us without some sort of payment, and gee for a while there He considered destroying the whole lot of us with a flood. But for His mercy we would be nothing.

So I am going along reading and I come to a place where Paul tells how much he longs for the salvation of the Jews. So much so that if it were possible he woudl die as Christ did (except forever) and endure hell for eternity, that so many might come to know God’s salvation. Now, I just cannot imagine even considering it. Even considering telling God, all powerful creator and judge that I, I would be willing to be eternally apart from Him, if He would just save The state of North Carolina. I couldn’t even imagine taking that sort of risk. And really if you didn’t mean it when you said it it woudl be worht nothing anyhow. But you know what is worse? The fact that I wouldn’t do it.

I am so selfish, that at the core, my own choice to serve Christ really is for my own life. It really is a plea to save my own life. But those who lose their life will find it in Christ. How am I losing my life? How am I, a person who is unwilling to lay down the greatest gift for others, losing my own life? Well, I did lose my fleshly life…my carnal man is hanging on that cross. But my eternal life is not something I am willing to lose or consider losing. So at the core, I am still self centered. Saving my own hide, not laying down my eternal life…. This is a strange thought pattern. Obviously, Paul WAS willing to lose his eternal life, and Christ did not require it of him. (Nor can I see how God COULD require it of him… but that is a whole other topic.)

Are you willing that none should perish? Are you willing to lay down your ETERNAL life inthe place of others? Could you make that eternal sacrifice?

I know I couldn’t yet. But I pray that one day Christ will bring me to a place where I care for others salvation so much, that I would give up my own that they would find Him. Yeah, I’m crazy!

Sorry its so short today guys, but I said I would try to post everyday, and well… they can’t all be novels! LOL

Meg

Oh dooms day predictions have always been around. Heck there’s one in the back of your Bible… but the end of the world hasn’t happened yet, so we are all safe right? Well, let’s just think, what would happen if the end of days happened in OUR lifetime?

I can hear it now, people are saying “the rapture”, well… lets just say we are wrong abotu rapture happening before those last years? what if it happens after? Or what if the world gets horribly out of our current comfort zone well before the rapture? How would you survive?

Could you survive a famine? Could you be so self sufficient as to support your family and local community through farming and community organization? If the Great Depression were to happen again, how many of you can make your own clothes? (without electricity) or grow enough food to survive? or cook without electricity? or grind your own flour or corn meal? How many of us really understand what a worldwide economic failure would look like?

I like to think I could survive… then I start thinking about things like fresh water, growing my own food without a tiller, without buying seeds. Or things like making and washing my own clothes without detergent? (does anyone out there know how to make lye?) How would we keep the house warm enough in the winter without electricity, or oil, or a wood burning stove? Heck, even if I had the stove, I have no wood!

So, lets say I can raise chickens, and I have a cow, and I can grow veggies and a bit of fruit. Still the prospects aren’t that good. The amount of grain needed to produce one loaf of bread is outrageous. So no more bread, no more beef, no more SUGAR. Could you imagine what we would eat? I would have to re-learn how to cook, supposing I have some way of getting heat at all… fire or stove..

So here is another scenario. If I managed to make my measly 1.75 acres produce enough for my family, lets say I had a heads up about this economic disaster so I installed some solar panels, and I now have enough energy to cook one hot meal a day, plus maybe run a sewing machine for an hour or so. Lets say my family manages to be completely self sustaining. What about the other people around me? My neighbors, having not been prepared for such a disaster would see that I was the only person around with any energy/electricty, and the only family with enough food. What do you think they might do when they are starving? I’m thinking they are going to bring out the guns, and take by force what I so carefully conserved. So now, even if we were completely self sustaining, how is it that we could protect ourselves from the locals who are starving to death?

Sure sure, we could teach them how to grow food, we could help them get started, but that first year is going to be mighty devastating. People will hear miles away that there is food here, they will come to find a way to feed their family. You think God would work some miracles like feeding the five thousand? Think He will keep my garden producing like the pots of oil?

I think that is the only way survival would be possible. MIRACLES. Thank God I trust Him and have faith in Him otherwise I might be near to panic by now just thinking on the possibilities.

well I know this was a bit off my normal track. I had to make somre sort of post! I said I would try to post everyday! So since I sometimes day dream, and wonder about these things, i thought it would make for interesting fodder. Do you ever think on this sort of stuff?

Meg

Being real is quite difficult when you have lived your whole life trying to be something you aren’t. I feel like my whole life I have been acting. When I first came to Christ, some masks went away, I was freer, I felt more like who He made me to be….

Now, I am realizing that He wants me to take off all of the masks, labels, rules, and things I hide behind to learn real intimacy, real transperancy, real trust. And folks, trust is what it really comes down to. Do I trust HIM, even when the people He asks me to be real with may not be trustworthy? Opening my life and my heart to people is hard work.

I’m not saying that I need to tell everyone, everything about my life. God isn’t asking me to spill all the beans to everyone. This isn’t (for me) about over expression of self. In fact, I also need to learn when I am giving too much info, sometimes people don’t want that much info. But that isn’t what this is really about. I am having a hard time putting my finger on it.

It’s about admitting when I am wrong. It’s about accepting that I am not perfect and not trying to hide my flaws and present myself as perfect. It isnt about never growing, or becoming stagnant, or giving up on working on my imperfections. It is not being afraid of them. It’s about not being afraid to say the hard things, about God, about myself, about others when asked. It’s about not being afraid to ask for help, from God, from people.

It’s about answering other peoples questions about myself with honesty, even when I do not really know the answer, being able to say “I don’t know”. It is about true intimacy, which the Lord is teaching me comes only when we truly care about other people and aren’t just faking it like the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”.

For a long time, I was a great friend maker. I had many many friends, I was able to talk to just about anyone, and keep the conversation going. But in my heart I didn’t care one iota for them. I only cared that I could “win friends, and influence people”. But God is showing me that the heart is what is most important. Not only MY heart, but other people’s hearts.

Loving the way He loves requires honesty, truthfulness, gentleness, caring, and understanding. I can’t use others for my own peace. Peace only comes from the Lord. I can’t use others for my own joy, Joy only comes from the Lord. Friends are not meant to be “won” and people should not be “influenced” (in that way). Friends and people are children of God, they are princes, and princesses, they ought to be cared for and loved, and accepted in the way that He loves, cares and accepts me. Intimately, deeply, honestly, without reservation, but not carelessly, or recklessly.

To be others focused is the greatest joy. Having lived a whole life being self focused, this is taking some getting used to. I never realized how nearly everything I have ever said or done was selfish. Even those things that I thought were selfless, were really me dressing up, pretending to be gracious, or gentle, or generous. But only so I would “look” that way, not really be that way in my heart.

As I raise my son, I am learning it is ALL ABOUT HEART. It isnt about pretending, and following the rules, it isn’t about being on autopilot through life. It is about getting down and dirty, laughing with those who laugh, and crying with those who cry. Connecting my heart to people, and being gentle with their hearts.

Boy this is a hard lesson, one that is restoring my mind, and creating in me a Christ like woman. It isnt about stopping one particular habit, but translating my entire heart, and attitude, and reflection 180 degrees. Being upfront in life, being present, participating, being real, instead of sitting back and watching it all go past, and pretending to be good, is hard work.
I find my mind on auto pilot and I have to force myself to be present. When someone calls me and needs encouragement, I have to dig deep for honest caring, not just faking it. But, the Lord has been so faithful to give me grace, richly and deeply. And I can see how this is going to change me forever, I will come out on the otherside, an image of God, much more closely resembling Him than I do now.

(forgive me if this post rambled or had little point. I am making an effort to post everyday, so that I will get better at this, and so you all will have something to read when you stop by.)

Peace,
Meg

I am Grateful….

1. …for every breath the Lord has given me.
2. …for sunny skies and warmer weather.
3. …for peace like a river.
4. …for my house.
5. …for my son.
6. …for my husband.
7. …for a joyful heart.
8. …for internet access.
9. …for hot running water.
10. …for toilets that are indoors and flush.
11. …for COFFEE.
12. …for my pastor.
13. …for my church.
14. …for the blessing of living in America, Land of the free, Home of the Brave.
15. …for forgiveness.
16. …for the good work He is doing within me.
17. …for my daddy
18. …for my mommy
19. …for my brother, whom I dearly love.
20. …for God’s immeasureable grace.
21. …for His patience in teaching me.
22. …for His willingness to reach out to us, when we turn our backs on Him.
23. …for His creativeness in bringing the world into being.
24. …for His willingness to give us free will, even knowing we would fall away from Him.
25. …for His Big-ness; knowing He is larger than I can imagine, and more powerful than I can comprehend, gives me great peace, and freedom from worry.
26. …for His mercy.
27. …for His willingness to love us as we are, even while bringing us to perfection.
28. …that I can rely on Him to carry me when I am weak.
29. …for clothing.
30. …for a debt free life.
31. …for an intelligent mind with which to discern things
32. …for the peace that passes understanding (when I am just not smart enough.)
33. …for Romans 14, that allows us to have some differences of opinion, while still remaining the Body of Christ.
34. …for my new life in Christ.
35. …that I am a princess in the court of the Most High God.
36. …for music.
37. …for a talent to sing.
38. …for books to read.
39. …for Taco Bell (which is my all time favorite place to eat fast food)
40. …for democracy.
41. …for the right to vote.
42. …for the right to free speech.
43. …for the right to live.
44. …for the smile on my son’s face.
45. …for the quietness during his afternoon nap.
46. …for his inquisitive nature.
47. …for his gentle spirit.
48. …for his empathetic personality.
49. …that he is called of God, and is a child of God.
50. …that he thinks about God and cares about Him.
51. …that God formed my son specifically in my womb.
52. …that my son was given into my family for a purpose.
53. …for the power of prayer.
54. …for answered prayers.
55. …and for UNanswered prayers.
56. …that God is my friend.
57. …that God is my Lord
58. …for the Bible, which is useful in all things for discerning the truth.
59. …for the Holy Spirit who strengthens me, compells me to righteousness, convicts me of sin, and leads me in the way of the Lord.
60. …that He will never leave me nor forsake me.
62. …that even when things are not looking pretty, or going “well” He is still there and in control.
63. …that I can lean not on my own understanding but rely in faith on Him.
64. …that He can use even nasty evil things for His own glory, and for the goodness of those who love Him.
65. …that I cannot manipulate God, He is Who He IS, completely independent of ME.
66. …that I can rely on Him because I am completely dependent on Him.
67. …for a leadership role in my church (over children and teachers)
68. …for a purpose in life.
69. …for a clear conscience.
70. …for a clear mind. (no brain fog)
71. …for transparency in life, not having to pretend to be something I am not.
72. …for my garden.
73. …for work.
74. …for my husband’s willingness to work.
75. …for my husband’s willingness to allow me to stay home.
76. …for my husband’s desire to know God.
77. …for my husband’s strength in the face of adversity.
78. …for my husband’s unwillingness to back down when he is righteous.
79. …that I have a righteous husband instead of a heathen.
80. …for a husband with a vision.
81. …for a pastor with a vision.
82. …for a pastor who doesn’t tickle my ears.
83. …for the Lord’s faithfulness in bringing me to submission to my husband.
84. …for the Lord’s faithfulness in creating a sweet disposition within me.
85. …for the Lord’s willingness to allow me to endure some of the hard things of life, to bring me to His perfection.
86. …for the Lord sheilding me from the REALLY hard things of life, like daily physical threats, and persecutions.
87. …that the Lord has not called ME, to be a missionary.
88. …that the Lord has / is teaching me to be content whatever my lot.
89. …for hymns.
90. …for praise and worship.
91. …for Christian rap.
92. …for blogs.
93. …for reconcilled relationships with my extended family.
94. …for a tender and gracious mother-in-law.
95. …for a teachable spirit.
96. …for people in general.
97. …for Rev-Ed, who is an inspiration.
98. …for Debra at As I See It Now, who is also an inspiration.
99. …for people who read my blog.
100. …for the strength to speak up about God to family and friends.

man I could go on and on…. but I will stop right here.

Meg :icon_lol:

So, Do we? Do we overemphasize disipline in our congregations? Are we causing people to feel guilt for the sin Christ has already pardoned them of? The person I was speaking with seems to think that discipline is not nearly as important as compassion. That, we should pour mercy, compassion, grace, and such on our brothers and sisters. We should not hold them to a higher standard than the rest of the world. We should not expect them to be good, to walk righteously, to be happy all the time. I frequently hear this idea espoused. That Grace is above all in importance. That we no longer have any responsibility to act rightly, or with self discipline.

The problem I have with that, is that it allows the church to look full of bumbling idiots, who sin just as much as sinners, who fail to be courteous, righteous, moral, loving, faithful, just, etc etc. Where do we draw the line? Certainly, it isnt in favor of allowing all sin and misbehavior to run rampant through His ranks. Christ, has already set us free of the bondage of sin, shouldn’t we therefore find it not only easier, but better to live lives with less recurrent sin?

There is, in my opinion place and purpose for both discipline, and compassion. We can have compassion on those who are suffering, but when those people continue to act wrongly, and therefore continue to bring suffering upon themselves, is it our role to give them compassion, or discipline? I am not saying we should condemn those fallen brothers and sisters. But we should also equip them through discipline and teaching so that they do not continue to fall in the same areas. When does compassion become not only a crutch, but an ongoing excuse for continual sin in the lives of the saints?

Perhaps I am addressing this completely wrong. Have I confused terms? Or simply confused applications?

Certainly, grace is able to cover a multitude of sins (all of them infact), but at some point we need to also encourage our brothers to right behavior. The person I was speaking with about this, well, they are tired of pretending to be a good Christian. And that really caught my attention.

IT ISNT ABOUT PRETENDING. We are all going to fail. I am not for one second trying to suggest that we pretend to be good. I am suggesting that we ACTUALLY grow up and be good! That we GROW INTO the Righteousness that Christ afforded us. Why should we waste the gift of righteousness? His death not only bought my pardon, but bought my freedom on earth from the bondage of sin, and bought righteousness for me who was inable to be righteous, and pulled me from that miry clay, to make me a perfect vessel in His service.

We waste His gift when we accept only the saving grace, and ignore the growing into righteousness. Discipline has a purpose, God tries to get us to grow up and sometimes that is painful. Sometimes we are not doing our part in our sanctification. (Oh I can hear it now, people are saying “but God does it all.”) Well, yes… and no. We are a partnership, without Him nothing is possible, but we must renew our minds. The Lord could very well make us perfect the instant we become saved. And from His perspective we do, somehow, some mysterious way. He says it Himself…God “delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the Kingdom of His beloved Son.” (Col. 1:13) and “you were formerly darkness but now you are light in the Lord” (Eph. 5:8)

But from our perspective we are not instantaneously righteous. Paul says we must grow up in Christ, by the renewing of our minds. The process called sanctification. The process by which we conform to His image of us, through renewing our mind with the Word of God, which is like Living Water, and a Two Edged Sword able to separate flesh and spirit.

Here are some wise words from Neil T. Anderson (they can be found in his book, Victory Over Darkness)

“If you believe you are part light and part darkness, part saint and part sinner, you will live in a very mediocre manner with little to distinguish you from the non-Christian. You may confess your proneness to sin and strive to do better but you will live a continually defeated life because you percieve yourself to be only a sinner saved by grace, hanging on till the rapture. Satan knows he can do nothing about who you really are, but if he can get you to believe you are no different from the natural person, then you will behave no differently from the natural person.”

This is precisely what I mean. You have to do that active part of renewing you mind, so that you actually believe what God says about you. Memorizing scripture is a wonderful place to start, because it equips you with the promises to fight back against the lies of Satan, and by using the Word as the Sword of Truth as it is intended in your own mind, you will win the continual victory, of course not by your own strength, but His. Not only using the Sword of Truth, but by “taking every thought captive unto the obedience of Christ.” Not only actively speaking against the lies of our experience, but choosing to confine those thoughts that are contrary to His truth about us (among other things), and force them into the conformity with Christ’s image of you. This is what I mean when I say we do not live by our own experiences, but by the Word of God. We “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge the Lord and He will make straight your paths.”

If we are in a depression, the Lord promises sweet relief. But what is our part? Obviously not all Christians are instantaneously set free of their depression, or anxiety, or whatever. Many continue to struggle Why? Do these people need more discipline? more compassion? or more faith?

They need more WORD, a better understanding of who God says they are. They need faith to hear and believe it, and they need discipline to use the Word as a sword. Grace to bear us up, and encourage us, to give us the strength to perservere, but discipline to keep on pressing on, to finish the race.

A balance between Providence, and Personal Responsibility.

I hope to hear some replies!

Meg